Wednesday, July 10, 2013

What and If...two tiny words with a large impact



What and If..?
                Two completely innocent and inconspicuous words in the English language, yet when put together they can run rampant through ones mind without ceasing. They cause mayhem, twisted perceptions, and regret wherever they are allowed to run without rein. So why do people let them run with such abandon?
                I’ve recently had some great advice: Don’t live in the past, what’s been done is done, But don’t look too far into the future either, that can lead to anxiety and frustration. Instead live in the present, be thankful for what you have and are given on a daily basis. BUT don’t let chances fly by you. If you love something, or someone, have the courage to reach out and try. Because you never know what might happen.
                What if I had never kissed my ex-fiancĂ©? Never accepted the invite up to their vacation 4 years ago this month? Yes, I would have saved myself from hurt, confusion and heartbreak. But I would have missed on all of the growing opportunities that have molded me into the person I am today. Maybe I would have fallen for someone else that would have been worse? Maybe I would have been lonely the whole time? Maybe I would have gone off to a school out of state and met friends and possibly a different guy? The possibilities are endless and also happen to be endlessly maddening.
                No one can know what might have been, we are not supposed to. The only thing that we can control as finite human beings is what happens now. Right now, in this very moment. I could stop writing right now and put away laundry, but then would I ever have the courage to finish what I started here? Would I come back maybe after work and finish? Or would I leave it be and never look at it again, and it would fall into the forgotten files in the hard drive of my laptop? The What Ifs are endless and only continue in circles. People can be driven mad by picking apart the past. By constantly thinking over past arguments, things that should not have been said, and things that weren’t said all twist into a downward spiral.
                Therefore people must recognize when the opportunity to do something truly unique comes along. Or maybe someone is scared to ask out the boy or girl that they like and instead sit and watch as someone else swoops in while they were busy over thinking. They missed their chance.
                So what if it doesn’t work out? All we can do is try. We don’t know the future, and that is something that I am personally thankful for every day. We don’t need to see what’s going to happen and look forward to it, we need to look forward to what today can be. Maybe you smile at someone who’s having a bad day, or maybe someone is rude to you. Not because you did anything to offend them, but maybe instead of being rude or using sharp words, back we treat that person with kindness and respect. And maybe that’s all they need to realize that life isn’t as bad as they thought. Or that someone else cares enough to ask what’s really going on. Or maybe they just need someone to listen.
                Everyone has things in their past that they aren’t too proud of. Or things happened in such a way that they aren’t happy about. The key is to accept what happened, learn from it to not make the same mistake or decision again, and then move forward with their life making better decisions in the next instance that comes along.
                And who knows? Maybe that one chance conversation, comment, gentle reminder that you care will make all the difference; not only in your life but in the other persons too.