Do you ever?

Do you ever have one of those days that you just want to end?
That seems so terrible you just want to stop whatever you are doing/saying/working on and hide under a pillow fort somewhere?

Well that was tuesday this week for me.

It started off innocently enough. Not a sign of how things would change as the hours ticked by.

It just felt like I couldn't do anything right. Nothing at work was working. (Though my computer not working was/is NOT my fault, the stupid thing hasn't worked right form day 1) But just stupid mistakes adding up to give me this horrible stomach pains. I didn't feel good either, I felt like I was going to have to hurl.

Luckily I did not, and I somehow managed to make it through the day. When I got home I did hide, but not in a pillow fort, sadly. I just stayed inside away from other people, and away from whatever else the world had in store for me.

Maybe there was hint that I should have stayed in bed...I missed my first two alarms for work.

Ahh universe, you cruel teacher! 

Is it just me..?

So the other day I was driving home from work, like I do 5 days of the week, and something happened that doesn't often.
Some one was following me, and I didn't recognize the car.

Now a normal person would simply continue driving home and not think or notice anything out of the ordinary. Well let me tell you the reason why I start to panic when someone follows the same path I am driving.

Several years ago, I was driving to my then boyfriend's house after college classes. I happened to take the back ways, which means country roads. Almost all of the roads are 45MPH, and so I was turning onto a road, watching traffic, and decided to merge. Clearly the woman driving the car that I went ahead of had been speeding up instead of actually going anywhere near the speed limit. As such, I watched her tap her breaks and continue on a distance behind me.
I continued on my way, and it was only when I turned on to the small side street the house I was going to was on, did I realize that she had been following me.
Now let me quantify something...I had been on backroads...the college I was driving from was a half hour away from the house I was going to...and this lady had followed me for over 20 minutes.

I opened my car door to get out, and lo and behold the woman was already out of her car, and walking towards mine. She proceeded to shout at me claiming I was irresponsible, and that I had forced her to brake so hard that her sleeping baby had slammed its head against the carrier. All the while, she left her car door open, the vehicle running and she had no idea who I was or if I had a weapon with me.

Clearly I was not the irresponsible one. I managed to get her to go away, and only when she was gone did my then boyfriend come out of the house. Instead of being understanding, and considerate of my feelings, he chastised me for showing her where he lived. (Again I don't know why I didn't realize we were not good for each other sooner)

Since that day, if a car following me takes too many of the same turns and I am near my house, suddenly I am interested in not going home. Instead of going right home, I now take random turns until I am sure that the car has turned off.

Suddenly I am in a chase and must escape the (enter in whatever force you want to)!

Saying Goodbye

Today is D-Day.
Today I say goodbye to my best friend for the past almost 8 years of my life.
Today I will load Electra onto a trailer so that she, and I, can each start the next chapter in our lives.

I have been thinking about not having a horse for many months now. And have finally made the decision to donate her to a camp. She will be taking kids and adults out on the trails all day, which she will absolutely adore and love.

No, there is nothing wrong. Either with me or her, no one is sick, lame or a terrible horse. In fact she is probably the best behaved horse I have ever met. She has had kids falling on her face, sitting under her and poking her belly, pulling her tail and ears, and running behind her.  As well as my shenanigans over the years. Like going over tarps, jumping ditches, trail riding where there was no trail, some horse shows, and of course throwing cats on her back. And she has taken it all in stride.

I took an un-rideable, scared little 4 yr old horse that no one could break, and molded her into the great, loving, and safe horse that she is today. She has also changed and molded me. I hate to think what my life would have been like after my first horse died had I not had her. We have helped and saved each other in so many ways, and I will be eternally grateful to her.

If I could say one thing to her, and have her understand. it would be:

"You have been an incredible partner, and I will always love you. Now, go make some kids very happy, and show them what a great horse you are."

This is the hardest decision I have ever made in my life. But I know that for me and for her, right now, this is the best choice.
So please do not say "I'm sorry" when you see me or when you read this. I am not sorry, and neither should you be.

A new Venture

So aside from all of the other personal things and adult type decisions, I have been inspired and thinking about starting a youtube channel.
I have my favorite YouTubers, and I find them really inspirational as well as entertaining. While watching I think, "Yeah I can make people laugh. I have things to say about adult life, writing, being creative, and some nerd-y interests." I already have a screen name or YouTube name in mind, but my question is:

Would you listen to me for a minimum of  5 minutes in a video?

I haven't decided if I would do a video a week or every two weeks. I know that my life is NOT exciting enough to have a daily vlog,  since it would basically be me driving to and from work and writing. But I have brainstormed some ideas for at least 3 videos so far.

So, yeah, just let me know either by liking this on FB or by recommending this on Blogger.
Who knows? Maybe I'll just do it anyways :P