The scene I had to delete... When I decided to change the whole romantic plot...Woops

                “Is that what this is about?” he walked around to face her. “You think that Taya is a, a, I don’t even know what you might think she is, but whatever it is, she’s not, alright?” She didn’t meet his gaze, she knew that she just couldn’t stand to see herself reflected in his eyes right then.

                “Riona, look at me.” When she didn’t he added, “Please”. 

                With the moon at her back she could see his blue eyes perfectly even without the help of her flames. There were tears in his eyes that hadn’t been shed, and she was sorry for causing them. She felt herself falling into his eyes and the flames that licked at her fingers slowly died away.

                “Riona, I don’t care about some high chiefs daughter. I care about you. I have for a long time.” His hands on her arms tightened, “I’ve cared for you more than just our friendship.”

                She tried to turn away, but his hands held her in place. She met his gaze again. What were they doing? They had to leave in a few hours on a journey that would probably be full of danger, and here they were talking about feelings? She didn’t want to be bothered by it.

                ‘Listen to him, and your heart Little One.’ If she had been able to, she would have smacked Feoras for bringing her here where she could be cornered by Damien. She hadn’t even felt this cornered when she had stayed behind to protect them from the creatures in the forest.

                Damien let her go and turning away sat on a fallen tree. She could see he had his head in his hands. “Do you know why in the months after we ran to the mountains, I hadn’t been around much?”

                She had wondered that, often thinking that it was because he didn’t want to admit to himself that she was using magic. That and she had been a bit more preoccupied after Feoras hatched, she really hadn’t thought about much else other than how to hide a growing dragon.

                “No.” she quietly made her way so that she was sitting next to him. He turned so that he was facing her.

                “I was doing every odd job and task I could get my hands on to earn more money. Even trapping in the same mountains we had rode in, the ones that no one else would attempt. The animals are not as scared of men, and there are more of them.” He laughed. “But of course you knew that already.”

                “Yes, that’s why I hunted there.”

                “Well, I wasn’t hunting for myself or my family. I was hunting to sell the meat, hides,  and antlers.” He kept twisting his hands in his lap. “I was saving the money I earned so that I would be able to buy my own plot of land.”

                “It seems like such a stupid idea now, but at the time it felt right.” He looked up at her again. “The day you and your mother left, I was on my way to see her.” He paused and momentarily he stopped wringing his hands. “I was coming to ask her for your hand in marriage. That was why I had Sparrow packed, I was coming to give it to her as show of how I could provide for you.”

                He stood suddenly and started pacing in front of her.

                “I had known that you weren’t seeing any of the other boys in town, so I knew that you didn’t have any other offers to consider, and I had hoped that you and your mother would accept mine.” His fists balled themselves at his sides. “That was when I saw the huge furrows in the ground, and when I looked around everything looked as though you had left in a hurry without planning on coming back.”

                He kept his face firmly on the ground he paced on. “I thought something terrible had happened. I thought you were dead.”

                Riona felt a catch in her own throat at his words. Yes, she supposed it was possible someone might think that with how they left their home, but they had had to leave fast. They weren’t safe in the valley. Either the spectral Ryders would have come for them, or the people in the surrounding areas would have realized a dragon lived among them and they would try to kill Feoras out of fear.

                Suddenly Damien dropped to his knees in front of her. “I know that we still don’t have the best of circumstances, but would you marry me?”

                The question hung in the air between them. She could feel the electricity between them, and she found herself wanting to say yes as she looked into his blue eyes. Yes, she loved him. Yes, she had cared for him enough to not be running off with the other boys in town, despite their many attempts for her attention and affection.

                “Damien, I…” She couldn’t respond. She didn’t know how to begin to tell him everything that was running through her mind. Instead she closed her eyes and listened to herself, to her heart. When she opened her eyes after what felt like an eternity, he was still there his blue eyes locked on her.

                She reached and took his hands in her own. His were cold so she sent some warmth from her own into his. His eyes registered surprise and she smiled at him. She genuinely smiled. That was something she hadn’t done in months. He made her happy. That was all that mattered. She would fly to the moon and back, even threaten the Ryder that plagued her dreams to protect him.

                “Yes.” It was a simple word but when she said it she felt some of the electricity between them heighten and she reached for him. His lips found hers and she felt heat from a different source than her magic.

                After a time they broke off, but she stayed comfortably perched in his arms.

                “Damien…”

                “Yes.”

                “I do really like this, but I still need to wash off before we leave.”

                “Oh, right.” He stood up so fast she nearly hit the ground before he caught her. “Sorry.” He mumbled as he set her on her feet.

                “It’s okay.” She stepped back and in the light of the rising sun she saw that just into the tree line Sparrow grazed with just a halter on. “Where’s your saddle?”Damien followed her gaze and shrugged.

                “When I saw you two fly off I didn’t have time to properly saddle her up. I just grabbed her and came after you.” She reached for his hand.

                “I’m glad that you did.” He looked at her, a smile on his face as he pulled her into himself. For being out in the cold morning, he felt warm to her as his arms came around her back.

                “I should be getting back to start packing and get the horses ready.” He kissed the top of her head and started towards Sparrow when Riona coughed politely.

                “What is it?” he looked genuinely confused at her coughing for his attention.

                “I still need help with my laces.” She was nearly knocked to the ground in his hurry to help her, and she realized just how nimble his fingers were. She blushed when he worked on the ties that held her pants together at her hip. Holding them up with her hand to avoid any mishaps she let her corset fall to the ground after he finished the laces. She still had her shirt on and was covered.

                He hesitated at the last tie on her pants and left his warm hand on her hip. Once again heat flared in her, somewhere deeper than where her magic lay, but still she didn’t want to do that while she was dirty and on a beach.

                He looked up at her, his blue eyes shining in the dim light. She knew what the young people did in the barns when their parents weren’t looking. They weren’t supposed to know, or act like the adults. But when a young girl was in love with a boy her age, and was promised to a man old enough to be her father, everyone looked the other way. Even the boys and girls that weren’t to be married off, they sometimes snuck off into the woods or hay lofts at the festivals.

                She blushed as she thought of the boys who had tried to get her to go with them. But she never had. She had only wanted Damien, but Damien had never asked her. In fact she was almost positive he had never asked any girl to go away with him either.  They had usually spent the festivals eating by the fire listening to the adults tell stories.

                “I, I think you had better head back now.” He left his hand on her hip as he stood. Once again looking down on her she could see that there was a flush that had crept up his neck. “The others will be wondering where you went to.”

                He bent down to kiss her again, she leaning into him. She really didn’t want him to leave, but they had to start their journey. And she really needed to bathe. He held her tight and when they parted her cheeks felt raw from the whiskers on his face. Turning he made his way back to Sparrow and with one backward glance he rode off.

                ‘Is he really gone yet?’ she knew that Feoras would be able to tell, she didn’t trust that he really had left. She felt him reconnect his consciousness to hers but there was a pause.

                ‘Yes, he’s nearly there. Sparrow is a very fast horse for one that is carrying two beings.’ He seemed impressed that the pregnant mare would be able to carry both her foal and Damien.

                ‘Horses do it all the time.’ She managed to wrestle off the rest of her clothes. It turned out that holding her clothes on hadn’t been a problem. It was getting them to come off of her sweaty skin that was a challenge. She carefully laid them out on a tree hanging over the water and waded in.

I hit the 50 K mark!! This novel's going to be longer than I thought...

                She ran through the forms until she was drenched in sweat and her arms felt like she couldn’t lift them even if she had to save her life. Sunrise was still a few hours off so she perched on Feoras claw and worked through her magic lessons. She started with the simple exercise of lifting items from the ground, and made her way up to setting specific items on fire then putting them out. Just setting things on fire was not enough, she needed to control the flames.

                ‘I want you to throw rocks at me.’

                ‘Little one, I believe you have lost your mind.’ His large brown eye was close to hers and she could see just how sweaty and un-kept she looked, and she realized that she didn’t care.

                ‘Throw them at me, there’s some rubble over towards the wall where you can reach.’ She pointed over to the large pile that had fallen from the top of the battlements. ‘Start with the smaller ones, and we’ll get to the bigger ones.’ She slid down from his claw and unclasped her cloak. Leaving it and her staff on a tree stump Vanya often used for her seat, Riona carefully rolled up her sleeves so that her arms were bare. She had to admit that even she noticed a difference in how her body was looking. Her arms were harder, and her skin had taken on a golden sheen from training in the sun.

                Feoras just stared at her, not moving. She straightened her stance.

                ‘Look, if I can lift and throw them, then I should be able to block them or redirect them.’ Feoras huffed out steam, she could tell that he really wasn’t convinced of her logic, but he reluctantly stood and made his way to the pile.

                ‘If you get squished, I am not explaining to your mother.’ Sitting back on his haunches Riona had to giggle when his head was higher than the wall and his claws searched for the smallest of the rocks to throw.

                ‘Are you ready?’ his question was more than in just the words. He was asking if she was sure that she could stop them.

                ‘Just toss it over here, Firebreather.’ She felt and saw him bristle his wings in agitation. But she also saw his forelegs awkwardly bunch as he pulled back to throw the first boulder.

                She broke their connection, she didn’t want to cheat herself by knowing ahead of time where exactly he was going to throw them. Since she already had been practicing her magic rose to her fingertips faster than she thought possible. Her fingers glowed in the half light, but she kept the flames from emerging, she didn’t want fire, she just wanted power.

                She almost broke and ran as the large rock hurtled towards her head. But instead of moving she imagined herself pushing out her power into a half circle in front of her. In her mind she formed it into a type of shield that the rocks would hit and then deflect to one side or another. She used the same logic as blocking a staff blow. It took more energy to stop the blow than to deflect it.

                Still, the shock of the rock slamming into her shield was more than she had thought it would be. To her surprise the rock crumbled and the pieces slid to either side of her body landing harmlessly on the grass at her feet.

                ‘Are you okay Little One?’ his voice was tentative, and though she had blocked her from his thoughts, he must have felt the impact of the rock against her shield.

                ‘Yes I am.’ she looked at the ground and noticed that she had sunk into the ground to her ankles from the impact. She stood straight and shaking out her arms, moved to the right. ‘Another.’ She readied herself again, this time making the shield even more rounded so that there was less of a flat surface for it smash against.

                This time it worked better. By the fourth rock she had learned to attach the shield to either one of her arms and how to move to let the rock fall away without causing so much force on her. The rock hitting the shield didn’t hurt in the same way getting whacked by a staff did, but she still felt the force behind the rocks.

                ‘Enough, you are shaking Little One, it is time to stop.’ Feoras dropped back down to all fours and slowly made his way to her. She gratefully leaned against him. Her whole body was shaking, and it felt like her legs would not support her for much longer. She was covered in sweat and some of her hair had fallen out of its plait.

                ‘Let’s get you a bath.’ She turned and climbed to the saddle, her whole body aching with the effort. Feoras stood and launched himself into the sky before Riona could even strap her legs in. ‘We don’t have much time before the others wake up.’ He flew straight towards the lake.

                ‘That waters going to be cold, isn’t it?’

                ‘Yes, very cold I should think.’ Riona groaned. She missed the hot bath at the outpost already.

                She must have nodded off on their flight, the next thing she knew she was being splashed as Feoras dropped into the lake. Since she hadn’t even bothered with strapping her legs in, she simply slid from his back into the thigh high water.

                Wading to shore she began the task of unlacing her corset, boots and pants. Her fingers didn’t want to work thanks to the early time cold and her exhaustive training session. She rolled her head around on her shoulders and was tempted to walk right back into the lake fully clothed when a voice made her jump.

                “Let me help you with those.” She whirled around towards where the voice had come from, flame sputtering at her fingertips despite her tiredness.

What and If...two tiny words with a large impact

What and If..?

                Two completely innocent and inconspicuous words in the English language, yet when put together they can run rampant through ones mind without ceasing. They cause mayhem, twisted perceptions, and regret wherever they are allowed to run without rein. So why do people let them run with such abandon?

                I’ve recently had some great advice: Don’t live in the past, what’s been done is done, But don’t look too far into the future either, that can lead to anxiety and frustration. Instead live in the present, be thankful for what you have and are given on a daily basis. BUT don’t let chances fly by you. If you love something, or someone, have the courage to reach out and try. Because you never know what might happen.

                What if I had never kissed my ex-fiancé? Never accepted the invite up to their vacation 4 years ago this month? Yes, I would have saved myself from hurt, confusion and heartbreak. But I would have missed on all of the growing opportunities that have molded me into the person I am today. Maybe I would have fallen for someone else that would have been worse? Maybe I would have been lonely the whole time? Maybe I would have gone off to a school out of state and met friends and possibly a different guy? The possibilities are endless and also happen to be endlessly maddening.

                No one can know what might have been, we are not supposed to. The only thing that we can control as finite human beings is what happens now. Right now, in this very moment. I could stop writing right now and put away laundry, but then would I ever have the courage to finish what I started here? Would I come back maybe after work and finish? Or would I leave it be and never look at it again, and it would fall into the forgotten files in the hard drive of my laptop? The What Ifs are endless and only continue in circles. People can be driven mad by picking apart the past. By constantly thinking over past arguments, things that should not have been said, and things that weren’t said all twist into a downward spiral.

                Therefore people must recognize when the opportunity to do something truly unique comes along. Or maybe someone is scared to ask out the boy or girl that they like and instead sit and watch as someone else swoops in while they were busy over thinking. They missed their chance.

                So what if it doesn’t work out? All we can do is try. We don’t know the future, and that is something that I am personally thankful for every day. We don’t need to see what’s going to happen and look forward to it, we need to look forward to what today can be. Maybe you smile at someone who’s having a bad day, or maybe someone is rude to you. Not because you did anything to offend them, but maybe instead of being rude or using sharp words, back we treat that person with kindness and respect. And maybe that’s all they need to realize that life isn’t as bad as they thought. Or that someone else cares enough to ask what’s really going on. Or maybe they just need someone to listen.

                Everyone has things in their past that they aren’t too proud of. Or things happened in such a way that they aren’t happy about. The key is to accept what happened, learn from it to not make the same mistake or decision again, and then move forward with their life making better decisions in the next instance that comes along.

                And who knows? Maybe that one chance conversation, comment, gentle reminder that you care will make all the difference; not only in your life but in the other persons too.

               

Practice

           “Ah, good, you are just in time.” Her mother sat abruptly on a log near the fire. “You two will spar from now on while I watch and shout out instruction.” Riona groaned, Damien was a full head taller than her, and he was much stronger. Her body already ached from the long hours in the saddle and wielding the staff in the air, and now she was doomed to more bruises. She glanced at Damien who was lifting and swinging the staff experimentally in the air.

“Riona, run through the basic poses with him a few times before you start.” Vanya sat on her log paging through an aged book on her lap, her blonde hair had come loose and fell forward as she leaned closer. They went through the poses side by side again and again until Damien could do them without counting.  

Feoras had settled in and faint trails of smoke piped out of his nostrils and his eyes were only slits. They had flown all day for several days and he was still growing so he still needed more sleep than he was getting. Riona was slightly jealous that he could lie down and sleep while she had to train.

‘You forget that I’m listening, and that technically I’m training with you.’  His eye closest to her slid open slightly and she could see the red colors reflecting in the firelight. ‘I am your other memory, though you still need to train your muscle memory. That could save your life when I can not.’ His eye slid back shut and their mental connection once again went quiet.

“Are you okay?” Damien was looking at her with a questioning look because she had stopped mid swing.

“Yeah, just getting some feedback.” Damien sent a look over towards where Feoras now lay with his eyes closed.

“Now face each other before we lose all of the light.” Vanya still was pouring over the book balanced on her lap as she stirred the contents in the portable pot hanging over the fire. Riona turned reluctantly to Damien and saw him doing to same.

“Ready?” He waited for her to make the first move. As worried as she was of being struck, she was sure that he was just as hesitant to really go after her.

‘Take advantage of his hesitancy.’

‘But he’s my friend.’

‘He is your opponent right now; not your friend.’

Despite her inner reservations of striking him, she made the first move. She feigned going to the right and mid swing brought the other end as if to strike him on his left calf. Her staff vibrated in her hand as he blocked her first attempt.

‘Again. This time make your movements more fluid so he can’t see what you’re going to do lengths away.’ She bristled at his commands even as she blocked one of Damiens strikes. Her staff once again vibrated in her hands, and a few of her fingers went numb.

‘And when did you become an expert on sparring?’ She hadn’t been paying attention and Damien rapped her smartly against the back of her legs forcing her to the ground on her knees. Thinking quickly she swung her own staff out underneath him, hitting him in the ankles and he too fell onto the ground.

“Enough, come eat, the food’s done.” Vanya had finally put her book down and was ladling out their portions. Both Riona and Damien rose without helping each other up and walked quietly to the fire. 

‘You did well with your tooth pick, little one.’ Her pride had taken a hit with the sparring, but Feoras acknowledging her progress within a few short days did help a bit.

“Damien you are to ride between Riona and I. I will take lead and Riona will bring up the rear with Feoras flying above.” Vanya quickly ate her own bowl of dinner and sat back down on her log with the decrepit book.

“I thought you were sending him back to Rhydian Valley.”  Vanya didn’t even look up from her reading to answer.

“No, we are too close to the forest for him to turn back.” She lifted her eyes for a moment to where he was sitting, then went back to her book. “You might be glad to have the help later.”

‘She is right little one.’

‘I know. I just don’t want anything to happen to him.’ Feoras snorted and small bursts of flame issued from his nose.

‘I think he can handle himself.’ Feoras sniffed, ‘He did stand up to me when he thought you were in danger.’

Riona patted Feoras on the nose and then scratched behind his horns. ‘Yes he did.’

She curled up next to Feoras side as his large wing swept over her blotting out the night sky.

Some thoughts that have been running amok

Genesis 2:18 "Then the Lord God said "It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper who is like him."
Genesis 2:22 "Then the Lord God made the rib He had taken from the man into a woman and brought her to the man."

    Things that have been running through my mind:
       1: Man was not meant to live alone, he is meant to have a partner, that partner is meant to be a woman
       2: She is not to be "ruled" over by her partner, they are meant to be equal because woman came from a mans rib.
        3: Women are there to help and support their partner.

Man needs a companion. People have felt this truth since the dawn of time. There is still a need for this connection even in this technology filled age, we see it everywhere. Dating sites bombard the advertising business and social networking sites try to find and recommend people "you may know". But yet to make a real connection with someone you have to drop the technology and speak with them, one on one. You can't simply know someone by repeatedly looking over their websites or pages. Knowing someone takes getting your hands dirty in the human condition and understanding where they come from, what they want, and especially what they are saying between the lines. People are messy, they often don't know really what they want, but someone who can pick their way carefully through what someone says or doesn't say can often understand more than what the other is saying.

A woman is not to be ruled over or controlled by her partner. Woman came from man yes, but she came from his side. Under his arm to be protected by him, next to his heart to be loved by him, and next to him so they can walk together, not one leading and the other following. They are meant to be equal partners. She is meant to be his helper in everything, not just in a physical release. She is meant to be there for him in everything that happens. In this I am often reminded of the Shield Maidens that would often accompany the men in the Viking culture. These women would leave behind their homes, hearths and many times children to fight with their husbands in battle and to protect him from blows that he might not see coming. She literally protects his back.

This is what women are meant to do.

I hate hearing men say that their women try to change them. Women are there to help their partners, not completely alter who they are. People get those two mixed up because women are meant to be there to bring out the best in her partner. Often a woman not only sees and understands how her partner operates, she can see below the surface that he presents to the world. Below that surface the woman can see the man that her partner could become. In most scenarios this man that she sees is a better version. Someone who cares, provides and defends his family. Women do not try to change her partner, if she is with him she loves the man he is. Instead she is only trying to help him to be the best version of himself.

She fell in love with who he truly is, even if he can't see what is inside of himself.

The saying "behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes" is true, and anyone who hears it knows this. Women are meant to bring joy, love, balance and happiness to her partners life. And in return a man should appreciate everything she has to offer, because a females heart is a mystery that cannot be understood in a short time, no. To truly understand a woman means to listen without judgement to her thoughts and feelings, to simply be present with her, to understand how she sees things, and to understand that even if you can't see something about yourself, that she does and she wants to aid you on your journey -not trample and control you. Women don't want to change their partner, they want the best for them and for their families.

Ready and Waiting

Well my bags all packed, and my pets are already mad at me. It must be almost time to leave! It's almost unbelievable that the time for this trip is already here. My mom always promised that after I graduated college we would go to Europe, and after narrowing it down, we will be going to the British isles. I am so excited, I don't know how I'm going to sleep!

Fire-Breather

Riona was woken by the earth vibrating nearby, and she was ready to throw up her defensive ring but she recognized Feoras mind touching hers.

‘Wake, little one, something is following us. Your mother has already cleaned the camp and is leaving.’ Riona jumped up at that, she didn’t want to be left behind, she had no idea where she was! Feoras chuckling stopped her hurried actions. ‘Don’t worry,’ his eye came down level to hers and she could see herself in the reflection, her hair was a giant knot and her clothes were askew. ‘I can more than catch up.’ His eye slid shut and opened in his form of a wink.

She looked around and started rolling up her bed and then washing her face in a bucket of cold water fixed her clothes. After attaching her packs to the saddle she put on her cloak and instead of fastening the staff behind her, held onto it. It might not have a long enough reach, but it made her feel more secure that she could defend herself.

‘I’m not letting anyone get close enough to you that you need to use that toothpick.’ He growled as he leapt skyward. First light was still coming over the mountain peaks, and Riona watched in fascination as the sky changed colors. From deep inky black to purple to pink and finally as the sun fully rose to golden tones that caught Feoras scales making them gleam. She never got tired of watching his scale twinkle in the sun, or watching him in general for that matter.

‘I am a male, I am not pretty.’ He growled back to her.

‘Well then what are you?’ she tried to hide her own laughter from him, but she knew that he could sense it anyways. He suddenly rolled and landing sideways on a mountain peak, pushed off, his muscles all bunching and straining under her.

‘I am fierce, strong.’ He opened his giant mouth and Riona saw the air blur from his hot breath, but she was completely surprised when his sides contracted and flame burst forth, shooting straight in front of them for several lengths. ‘I am a fire-breather, I am sky hunter and I am magnificent.’