Oh, man. If a quiet audience can make you nervous, a negative review or remark can send ice through a writers veins. Your stomach twists, and you only hope that other people either do not find the same mistake, or they don't agree with a bad review.
My first ever two star review on Goodreads was actually from a co-worker. Before I saw what he had rated it, I asked him what he thought about the book. The words came out slowly, and he didn't meet my eyes. It felt like the floor had dropped out from under me. Before his review I had three 5 star reviews on Amazon. Other people had loved it, so why hadn't he?
First off, it wasn't that he didn't like it. He just thought that it was geared more towards a YA audience than an adult one. Okay, I could see where he was coming from, the characters are only 18,19, and 20. Another gripe was that he felt there wasn't enough emphasis on the world building like in other traditional fantasies. Hmm, well I had actually made it a goal to have this book be enjoyable and non-intimidating to those unfamiliar with traditional fantasy. And of course, he had found typos.
So why did this affect me so much? How can one negative review hurt my entire outlook on writing?
Because I took it as a reflection of my worth as a human. I took it personally. Honestly, it is difficult not to take criticism on your work personally. It takes untold hours to plot, craft characters, world build, write, revise, edit, and design a cover. Writers by default end up putting a lot of themselves into their work. On the one hand this is a great aspect to the craft, and on the other, well it kind of sucks. You feel like every person now has a say in your personal writing life. Often, I have seen people give up their passion for writing over one negative review.
I have found the best way to get over a negative response, is a multi step process.
Go ahead and cry. I said it! Cry. Get the frustration and sadness out. If you don't it will fester and show up in other aspects of your life, or even worse- your current project!
Commiserate with a friend or loved one. Preferably someone who has known what went into producing the book.
Pick yourself up by your bootstraps and keep on writing.
As hard as it is, with the passage of time and producing more writing, you grow a thicker skin. You also come to realize both in your head and your heart, that you will not make everyone who reads your book happy. And that is NOT your job. Your job is to write the story that only you can write. Art is a subjective medium, and writing is no exception.
I promise, it does get easier with time.
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