10 Things People Say...

A list of things that people say to you once they find out you're a novelist. As a novelist, some of these questions get a little old, and insulting, Here on this blog, I will provide the snarky responses I usually am scared to say face to face!


1. You're STILL writing your book? Geeze, how long does it take to write one book?


It's going to take as long as it takes. How about asking George R.R. Martin about it?!?!


2. Must be nice not to have a real job.


As if creating people, places, plots, and prose out of nothing was not hard work! Why don't you try it?!


3. Writing doesn't sound too difficult.


See above snarky comment.


4. I always thought I'd write a book, maybe later when I have some time.


If you want something bad enough, you can't just sit around and "wait to have some time". Guess what, that time doesn't just show up magically. You have to carve it out, and use whatever amount you get to its fullest.


5. A degree in Creative Writing is a thing?


Yes. The amount of money paid, and the piece of paper on my wall prove it. Not to mention the hours of blood, sweat, and tears.


6. So when are you getting published?


When it's polished and done. Even then if I pursue traditional publishing it may never see the light of day and sit in a slush pile.


7. Can you put me in one of your books?


No. But if you keep bugging me you may have a slight appearance in the murder mystery I'll start.


8. Can I have a copy when it's done?


Yes. There's this neat social system where we trade pieces of paper for goods and services.


9. Aren't you just a professional liar?  You do just tell stories all day.


Ah, no. No I am not. I create complete worlds, magic and government systems, people, and plots. Much different from lying.


10. Tell me everything about your book!


See comment on #8.




Now, these are the things that strangers have said in ignorance once they learn I'm a novelist. If someone was genuinely interested, or not talking down, I love to have conversations with people about writing and books. My writing group often has lively discussions about trends, publishing, and plots. Even my husband and I volley ideas around. But that is in a sincere and interested way. Any other tone will be met with a tight smile, and a quick but polite answer.